Jealous of their wealth.
No money, no talk. At this age, money determines your future, when you're not as brilliant as Einstein with good IQ. Yeah, so I fall into the category "above average", where I can't get the best scholarship and is left to choose among the cheapest course offered. Due to the fact that I am not from a very wealthy family and have adequate amount of interest in a course that can cost my parents' total salary of their whole life (exaggerated much?), which is dentistry, so I have to choose the safest way, and also cheapest, with less risk. Just Google for the tuition fees of Bachelor of Dental Surgery (BDA) in Malaysia, you'll know why. So I have to take matriculation offered by the government as it guarantees at least a slot in local public universities then I won't have to spend so much of my parents' money, but first choice of your course is not a 100% guarantee even though you get a CGPA of 4.0.
Many of my friends and teachers are shocked, or at least from their expressions I can see that, when they find out that I am going for matriculation in Labuan. Government matriculation, 10% for non-natives, lower standard compared to A levels and Form 6, less good environment. And with matriculation results you couldn't get overseas anymore, meaning I'll be stuck in Malaysia forever and ever Amen. A top student from school shouldn't end up there. Yes, somehow I do agree with them, but what can I do? I can only give it a shot in matriculation, then try to get dentistry in UM, USM or UKM.
I wanted to go for A levels in any of the private institutions in Kuala Lumpur under bursary from the Ministry of Education. Kuala Lumpur vs Labuan, which is better? But, the doors to get into local public universities for dentistry, medicine and pharmacy are closed. So what's left? Private universities, high cost of education. They say you can get a JPA scholarship when you've gained admission into any of the private universities listed by JPA, but how sure I am that I can secure a scholarship for my degree? Competition's intense and aforementioned, I'm NOT brilliant. Another thing, although we're given a monthly allowance of RM430 for bursary, is that enough for your accommodation, hostel, food, sundry expenses etc? No. So it's parents' money again. No way.
If I had sufficient money, I wouldn't have to care so much. I could just take A levels and give it a shot for the JPA scholarship for my degree. If I didn't get it, I could still pursue what I intended. Or with A levels, I could go overseas for my degree like many of my friends did. If and only if...
Jealous of their chances.
My ancestors came to this piece of land few decades or centuries later. So we are deemed non-natives. In Malaysia, it has been a fact that natives have more priorities in education. They have MARA scholarships, they have asasi (meaning foundation in public universities), they have Islamic universities for them, but what do others have? We have less options. We have less opportunities. I read a status on Facebook by a Malay friend, mentioning he got 2As in SPM and has been offered two scholarships whilst a non-Malay friend of his who got 10As has none. So, where is equality? I really hope everyone deserves a fair chance in education, not based on what kind of blood is flowing in your veins.
Another thing is, I got myself a new hobby: stalking friends especially seniors on Facebook. Few of them were offered the JPA scholarship overseas (dentistry and medicine to India). Their pictures, their statuses. I am living vicariously through the people. zOMG. I admire them a lot, of course a bit of jealousy there. The scholarship will provide them with A levels and then a guaranteed slot to your intended degree along with a 10-year bond that means a confirmed carrier in the future. Isn't this combo awesome? However, JPA stop giving this scholarship to students starting from the year 2012. Instead, it is replaced by bursary. However, not anywhere in India after that. After A levels under bursary, you can apply for the top 10 universities in UK or private universities and get an unconditional offer and then apply JPA scholarship again. Get it, you're blessed; if you don't, you're doomed. Would I dare to take the risk? Nope. I can't gamble my future and my parents' money just like that right?
Finished lamenting. Perhaps I don't feel that much of jealousy, but more to grumble. I should just be happy with what I have. Simplicity is the best. Leaving to Labuan on 17th May. Hope it's be a great and exciting adventure ahead.
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