Yeah this is the day I was pretty much afraid of. People thought this day is a celebration, but for me it was the day when the worst thing happened to me, or us.
One year ago, I wasn't sure what struck me. I kissed you. On my bed. I guess it was of pure love, and I thought you really deserved it. I thought my first kiss, given on this very important day of mine, would be a blessing. I wasn't sure why, it was an irrational decision, and very crude one. The moment I kissed you, my heart immediately sank in, never felt that much peace and calmness within me. In fact, you reciprocated. I still remembered I told you, you had to be responsible for taking my first kiss, but I guess it was just a joke.
Immediately after we kissed, you were struck by guilt. For which by then I didn't know why, but now I certainly do. You already have a boyfriend. I thought he was your best friend and roommate, but I really never knew the true relationship between both of you. By then, you only claimed that how you shouldn't kiss me, your spirits deterring you from doing so before you graduated, how your vision could have spread to anyone you love (you said you can't even feel love).
After half a year, we talked about this. You said the reason we kissed, is just being greedy. Well, I guess so, but I thought I really loved you.
You gave me a bottle. As a present. And so many Dota items (for which I don't even play now). You said you don't celebrate birthday, but I didn't really believe in it. However, that one fight, we gave back gifts to each other, the quarrel was really bad. I threw away the speaker I gave you, I think you threw away that bottle too. I am not sure.
I knew that our relationship won't last long, but I guess when time's up, time's up. I wouldn't say I have completely moved on from you, but I just know that I am trying really hard. I hope you graduate with him, and leave my life.
Saturday 27 May 2017
Saturday 17 December 2016
Bleeding Love
It was a year ago since my last post. And that last post was posted on his birthday (I didn't know him yet back then). Throughout that year, my emotions was swooping up and swooshing down like a an out-of-control maniac. I fell in love, unexpectedly. I enjoyed the beauty of love, but at the same time was consumed by its poison.
Let us call this guy, Susu. Well this was name given by me to him while he gave me Sisi. We called each other so many names, but that pair of names was the last. I actually don't know how to start writing about this, as this current state of mind is just too confused and complex.
Love is blind. Right on the last day of 2016, I fell for him since our first meeting; it was love at first sight. He just looked too well-composed and of course was my cup of tea. The palpitations, the syncopal attacks, the breathlessness, you name it, whenever I bump into him. I couldn't hold myself back and thus I went straight for him cause he claimed to be single. However things escalated wrongly unexpectedly. :(
I wonder, how can one person lie so much without having any guilt/conscience. I wonder, how can liars finally come to realisation that he was lying and it was wrong to do that. And actually I was dumb enough to believe all of that in the beginning. From his room, his gaming friend Lyst/Koala, places he had been to, with whom he went out with, with whom he had sex with, and the list goes on and on, I actually trusted him more than anyone. For once I thought I actually found someone I could depend on, could share my life, all joy and grief with, but I guess... I am fated to be ditched and alone. He has been with his roommate (Lyst) long ago I met him. Despite all the rumours of the two, I still trusted Susu when he denied, but I did the worst thing in the world, I spied on him and read his Facebook messages. Yeah, they share one single bed every night (since four years ago?), they had oral sex, they touched each other. These, happened in front of my very eyes. How on earth did that happen if Susu was being honest all the time? It hurts to know so much, and sometimes I think, is it better to not know anything or to know everything?
This break-up actually happened on 25th Oct 2016, when I saw his hands in Lyst's pants. He noticed that I was spying outside. We fought outside his room. He deleted all the photos, but I had a copy in my drive. He pushed me till I fell. He kicked me. I cried. I didn't know how to react, cause I loved him so much and yet I hated him for all the lies he told me without even blinking. He was treating me well, he cared for me, and it was the first time I feel warm because there is one person that takes care about you. He bought food for me, he taught me in my studies.
Things have been over since three months ago. However the pain still lingers till now, although not as much as the first month. That first month all I did was cry and drink. Suicidal thoughts. I cannot bear with the fact that I lost him. I remembered, we star gazed, you taught me how to look at constellations even over the phone, we had late night walks in campus, we went to the newest shopping mall, we went to the tax-free zone at the Thailand border, we went to the international kite festival, we went to Arnold's for coffee while his end of posting exams, we hunted for food at Chinatown, we went for a stroll by the river, we went for early breakfast at McD and KFC during my study week, we video called, we chatted everynight on Messenger, we slept together, we talked about anything (serious and dirty matters), we had fun. A lot. I feel so protected whenever I am with him. All these are still so surreal.
And now, not even after one year, we are strangers again. I still cannot move on, although apparently you already did. You go out with Lyst, you had sex again, you gamed with him, you laughed with him. I feel so jealous, how could you be so merciless. Well perhaps you never felt for me. It was all me only all the while. Still remembered you said you were responding to me cause of lust, not love. I still check your last seen on Messenger, I still walk around your room just to hear your voice, I still check your messages, I still think of you whenever I see/do things that are related to you. And I am now in the restricted list/Epsilon tag. :/
This love is toxic. I cannot breathe. I lost my ability to socialise. Sadness and depression have become my default mode. I am struggling to let go.
And yeah speak of the devil, Xavier, is one of the names we share in common. It's not a mutual agreement though. We had so similar thoughts. But I guess we aren't supposed to be together.
My first sight of a meteor, I wished I could be with you forever; if there is a second, I wish I can move on, love and be loved again.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I will be ready to start anew.
Still loving you now,
Sherlock/Sisi
Let us call this guy, Susu. Well this was name given by me to him while he gave me Sisi. We called each other so many names, but that pair of names was the last. I actually don't know how to start writing about this, as this current state of mind is just too confused and complex.
Love is blind. Right on the last day of 2016, I fell for him since our first meeting; it was love at first sight. He just looked too well-composed and of course was my cup of tea. The palpitations, the syncopal attacks, the breathlessness, you name it, whenever I bump into him. I couldn't hold myself back and thus I went straight for him cause he claimed to be single. However things escalated wrongly unexpectedly. :(
I wonder, how can one person lie so much without having any guilt/conscience. I wonder, how can liars finally come to realisation that he was lying and it was wrong to do that. And actually I was dumb enough to believe all of that in the beginning. From his room, his gaming friend Lyst/Koala, places he had been to, with whom he went out with, with whom he had sex with, and the list goes on and on, I actually trusted him more than anyone. For once I thought I actually found someone I could depend on, could share my life, all joy and grief with, but I guess... I am fated to be ditched and alone. He has been with his roommate (Lyst) long ago I met him. Despite all the rumours of the two, I still trusted Susu when he denied, but I did the worst thing in the world, I spied on him and read his Facebook messages. Yeah, they share one single bed every night (since four years ago?), they had oral sex, they touched each other. These, happened in front of my very eyes. How on earth did that happen if Susu was being honest all the time? It hurts to know so much, and sometimes I think, is it better to not know anything or to know everything?
This break-up actually happened on 25th Oct 2016, when I saw his hands in Lyst's pants. He noticed that I was spying outside. We fought outside his room. He deleted all the photos, but I had a copy in my drive. He pushed me till I fell. He kicked me. I cried. I didn't know how to react, cause I loved him so much and yet I hated him for all the lies he told me without even blinking. He was treating me well, he cared for me, and it was the first time I feel warm because there is one person that takes care about you. He bought food for me, he taught me in my studies.
Things have been over since three months ago. However the pain still lingers till now, although not as much as the first month. That first month all I did was cry and drink. Suicidal thoughts. I cannot bear with the fact that I lost him. I remembered, we star gazed, you taught me how to look at constellations even over the phone, we had late night walks in campus, we went to the newest shopping mall, we went to the tax-free zone at the Thailand border, we went to the international kite festival, we went to Arnold's for coffee while his end of posting exams, we hunted for food at Chinatown, we went for a stroll by the river, we went for early breakfast at McD and KFC during my study week, we video called, we chatted everynight on Messenger, we slept together, we talked about anything (serious and dirty matters), we had fun. A lot. I feel so protected whenever I am with him. All these are still so surreal.
And now, not even after one year, we are strangers again. I still cannot move on, although apparently you already did. You go out with Lyst, you had sex again, you gamed with him, you laughed with him. I feel so jealous, how could you be so merciless. Well perhaps you never felt for me. It was all me only all the while. Still remembered you said you were responding to me cause of lust, not love. I still check your last seen on Messenger, I still walk around your room just to hear your voice, I still check your messages, I still think of you whenever I see/do things that are related to you. And I am now in the restricted list/Epsilon tag. :/
This love is toxic. I cannot breathe. I lost my ability to socialise. Sadness and depression have become my default mode. I am struggling to let go.
And yeah speak of the devil, Xavier, is one of the names we share in common. It's not a mutual agreement though. We had so similar thoughts. But I guess we aren't supposed to be together.
My first sight of a meteor, I wished I could be with you forever; if there is a second, I wish I can move on, love and be loved again.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I will be ready to start anew.
Still loving you now,
Sherlock/Sisi
Monday 23 November 2015
Where have I been?
Have not been writing (besides academic essays) for such a long time, if it wasn't for that random link-clicking I wouldn't be reminded of that I actually still own this tiny meaningless blog over here. I actually forgot how I had been enjoying writing in a non-academic fashion.
So, where have I been? Just to sum everything up, I am now in university, and taking a not-so-amazing course, leading a not-so-interesting lifestyle. Seriously this blog never came up my mind amidst the busy and packed schedule of mine! And I logged in for the first time after so many months (years maybe?) and whoah more than 1000 pageviews, actually people still do read blogs!
My life, is a lie.
So, where have I been? Just to sum everything up, I am now in university, and taking a not-so-amazing course, leading a not-so-interesting lifestyle. Seriously this blog never came up my mind amidst the busy and packed schedule of mine! And I logged in for the first time after so many months (years maybe?) and whoah more than 1000 pageviews, actually people still do read blogs!
My life, is a lie.
Thursday 15 May 2014
一棵開花的樹 A Blossoming Tree
《一棵開花的樹》席慕蓉
如何讓你遇見我
在我最美麗的時刻、為這
我已在佛前、求了五百年
求祂讓我們結一段塵緣
佛於是把我化作一棵樹
長在你必經的路旁
陽光下慎重地開滿了花
朵朵都是我前世的盼望
當你走近、請你細聽
那顫抖的葉是我等待的熱情
而當你終於無視地走過
在你身後落了一地的
朋友啊！那不是花瓣
是我凋零的心。
A Blossoming Tree
How do I present myself to you
When I am at my most glorious moments, for this
I plead to God, for five hundred years
Hope He grants us fate to be together
Thus He turns me into a tree
By the road you will pass by every day
Under the sun, I blossom
With every flower representing my hope for you
When you approach, I hope you can hear
Every shivering leaf is my passion waiting for you
But then, you finally pass by, without noticing
Behind you, shed to the ground
Oh my dear friend, those aren't petals
But my withering love.
(This is not a standard translation, but my own translation to the poem by Xi MuRong.)
Poignant. Beautiful yet saddening. So willing yet so reluctant.
To listen to a choir (National Taiwan University) rendition of this poem, click here. Beautifully expressed.
如何讓你遇見我
在我最美麗的時刻、為這
我已在佛前、求了五百年
求祂讓我們結一段塵緣
佛於是把我化作一棵樹
長在你必經的路旁
陽光下慎重地開滿了花
朵朵都是我前世的盼望
當你走近、請你細聽
那顫抖的葉是我等待的熱情
而當你終於無視地走過
在你身後落了一地的
朋友啊！那不是花瓣
是我凋零的心。
A Blossoming Tree
How do I present myself to you
When I am at my most glorious moments, for this
I plead to God, for five hundred years
Hope He grants us fate to be together
Thus He turns me into a tree
By the road you will pass by every day
Under the sun, I blossom
With every flower representing my hope for you
When you approach, I hope you can hear
Every shivering leaf is my passion waiting for you
But then, you finally pass by, without noticing
Behind you, shed to the ground
Oh my dear friend, those aren't petals
But my withering love.
(This is not a standard translation, but my own translation to the poem by Xi MuRong.)
Poignant. Beautiful yet saddening. So willing yet so reluctant.
To listen to a choir (National Taiwan University) rendition of this poem, click here. Beautifully expressed.
Thursday 1 May 2014
College #11 @ The End
So 29.4.2014 marked the end of my pre-university/college/matriculation life. This post is not gonna mention the do's and don'ts in matriculation or anything suggestive.
It was a relief, but also a sad thing. Relief is that I can at least have some time for myself, free from (demanding) lecturers, unending work/studies and less good environment. However, bonded with so many awesome people in a year from choir, students' representative council, class and lecture, mutual friends, crushes, roommates and much more, and now I know that we can barely meet each other anymore. So yeah now I am currently suffering from the post-college syndrome, still missing them a lot. I need time to adapt to a lonely and quiet life back in Kuching.
Yes so you can see how busy I was in the past few months, so I barely have time to update the blog. Semester 2 was occupied by choir, students' representative council activities and school work. These three may seem little for you, BUT THEN when you sum them all up it is a HUGE cross to bear. But then they are all very worth it when I think over it right now. Meeting people, sharing experiences, and building memories. Beautiful.
I guess I don't have many things to say. I just hope my Semester 2 results will be another 4.0, and soon will be offered a good course for my degree, and to all matriculation friends who came across this post by chance, I wish you all the best. If we live long enough we might be able to meet again somewhere sometime in the future. xx
It was a relief, but also a sad thing. Relief is that I can at least have some time for myself, free from (demanding) lecturers, unending work/studies and less good environment. However, bonded with so many awesome people in a year from choir, students' representative council, class and lecture, mutual friends, crushes, roommates and much more, and now I know that we can barely meet each other anymore. So yeah now I am currently suffering from the post-college syndrome, still missing them a lot. I need time to adapt to a lonely and quiet life back in Kuching.
Yes so you can see how busy I was in the past few months, so I barely have time to update the blog. Semester 2 was occupied by choir, students' representative council activities and school work. These three may seem little for you, BUT THEN when you sum them all up it is a HUGE cross to bear. But then they are all very worth it when I think over it right now. Meeting people, sharing experiences, and building memories. Beautiful.
I guess I don't have many things to say. I just hope my Semester 2 results will be another 4.0, and soon will be offered a good course for my degree, and to all matriculation friends who came across this post by chance, I wish you all the best. If we live long enough we might be able to meet again somewhere sometime in the future. xx
Friday 24 January 2014
Forgive me
I have no one to express my feelings to, so here I am telling this to you.
Your eyes kept me mesmerised, your face renders me awe-struck, your sense of fashion is like ice-cream on a hot day, your body drives me crazy.
I can't control myself thinking about you, liking you, missing you. Oh no. Please forgive me. Please leave me alone.
Dilemma.
Your eyes kept me mesmerised, your face renders me awe-struck, your sense of fashion is like ice-cream on a hot day, your body drives me crazy.
I can't control myself thinking about you, liking you, missing you. Oh no. Please forgive me. Please leave me alone.
Dilemma.
Friday 17 January 2014
College #10 @ Malaysian University English Test MUET
The first post in 2014, shall be dedicated to my MUET results!
I don't know how to describe my feelings. Take for granted? Relieved? Happy? Satisfied?
Anyways, I do feel very grateful for it. Many friends of mine got Band 4, and some even scored Band 3 (which really kicks them down into the abyss of depression). Sigh, what to do? MUET is a very standardised exam with a strict marking scheme where only the strong ones will survive, unlike any other typical matriculation exam for which the standard is always dependent on average nationwide results.
Knowing that my standard will be about a high Band 4, so I just tell the world I'm aiming for Band 4, with a "I-don't-give-a-damn" look, but who knows my little pump inside me is pounding like crazy! Deep down I really hoped to get a Band 5, and I did! Before this I tend to screw Reading and Writing Task 1 up, but seems like that day when I sat for the exam I didn't (if I did, at least not too much!). I thought I did better in speaking, but turns out the score ain't that high.
Band 5 ranges from 220 - 259. So my score is just merely higher than 220. Praise the Lord! I shall throw my own party!
I don't know how to describe my feelings. Take for granted? Relieved? Happy? Satisfied?
Anyways, I do feel very grateful for it. Many friends of mine got Band 4, and some even scored Band 3 (which really kicks them down into the abyss of depression). Sigh, what to do? MUET is a very standardised exam with a strict marking scheme where only the strong ones will survive, unlike any other typical matriculation exam for which the standard is always dependent on average nationwide results.
Knowing that my standard will be about a high Band 4, so I just tell the world I'm aiming for Band 4, with a "I-don't-give-a-damn" look, but who knows my little pump inside me is pounding like crazy! Deep down I really hoped to get a Band 5, and I did! Before this I tend to screw Reading and Writing Task 1 up, but seems like that day when I sat for the exam I didn't (if I did, at least not too much!). I thought I did better in speaking, but turns out the score ain't that high.
Band 5 ranges from 220 - 259. So my score is just merely higher than 220. Praise the Lord! I shall throw my own party!
Wednesday 25 December 2013
College #9 @ Joy
I would say these few weeks after the holiday is joyful. :) At least joy is more then sadness.
Firstly it is of course of the fact that I managed to score 4.0 CGPA in my first semester exam. Hoorays! Well, other people might say that I, for sure, will get 4.0. Deep in my heart I doubt that as I really screwed my Maths Paper 2. Perhaps they lowered the score for A rank. Anyways praise the Lord for that ! :D
And then I am involved in the Labuan Interchurch Christmas Celebration, called Amazing Grace on the 13th December at Financial Park Convention Hall. I am in the drama team, under the choir division where we will sing any relevant songs throughout the drama. The sound system was awesome! Even a single out of pitch by any choir members will be amplified. Haha! I thought we sang well, but I have not seen the recordings yet. I am sure almost everyone enjoyed the drama. Thumbs up to the Director! :)
And then here comes the most important thing of the month, I was awarded the Best Student Award by the college for my course. YAY! It was totally unexpected. I was very sure there are many people in the college who deserve that award much more than I do. I just accept it lah. :P Well, it is a form of recognition, as a four-flat student, a students' representative and the Chief Conductor of our college choir team. However on the other side, it is a burden, as I have to live up to the expectations of the people. Anyways I still think it is a great thing!
And soon on the 27th of December I will be heading to Selangor Matriculation College for a meeting to draft a handbook for PASS (an academic programme). I don't think I am excited for it. HAHA. Wells, I think I am more excited to buy Gardenia buns and bread.
Last but not least, wishing every reader of this post a MERRY CHRISTMAS! Have a good 2014 ahead :)
Feliz Navidad, próspero año y felicidad~
Firstly it is of course of the fact that I managed to score 4.0 CGPA in my first semester exam. Hoorays! Well, other people might say that I, for sure, will get 4.0. Deep in my heart I doubt that as I really screwed my Maths Paper 2. Perhaps they lowered the score for A rank. Anyways praise the Lord for that ! :D
And then I am involved in the Labuan Interchurch Christmas Celebration, called Amazing Grace on the 13th December at Financial Park Convention Hall. I am in the drama team, under the choir division where we will sing any relevant songs throughout the drama. The sound system was awesome! Even a single out of pitch by any choir members will be amplified. Haha! I thought we sang well, but I have not seen the recordings yet. I am sure almost everyone enjoyed the drama. Thumbs up to the Director! :)
And then here comes the most important thing of the month, I was awarded the Best Student Award by the college for my course. YAY! It was totally unexpected. I was very sure there are many people in the college who deserve that award much more than I do. I just accept it lah. :P Well, it is a form of recognition, as a four-flat student, a students' representative and the Chief Conductor of our college choir team. However on the other side, it is a burden, as I have to live up to the expectations of the people. Anyways I still think it is a great thing!
And soon on the 27th of December I will be heading to Selangor Matriculation College for a meeting to draft a handbook for PASS (an academic programme). I don't think I am excited for it. HAHA. Wells, I think I am more excited to buy Gardenia buns and bread.
Last but not least, wishing every reader of this post a MERRY CHRISTMAS! Have a good 2014 ahead :)
Feliz Navidad, próspero año y felicidad~
Monday 4 November 2013
College #8 @ HOME
I'm HOME. Finally :D
It has been a long time i didn't update this thing over here. So this shows how busy I was before the holidays. Way too busy.
Let me list what I did in those few months, in chronological order.
1. My choir performed for the National Day's Celebration in Labuan town. Two new songs, Jalur Gemilang and Keranamu Malaysia in a week's time.
2. We were expecting Perbadanan Labuan to invite us sing during the opening ceremony of Borneo Games, but we didn't manage to secure a slot for us. Instead, we choir members were told to dance. :3 It was the opening ceremony so they needed around 150 people to do the Contemporary Sports Dance. 3 teams of three colours, red, blue and yellow. Choir members were in the red team. The dance was all about incorporating sports movement into the dance. Our focus is on "silat" and "taekwondo". Pretty well done for us. We were not any kind of dancers, so in a weeks time, practising everyday, we were able to produce a tidy and clean dance, not easy, isn't it?
3. Then, on that very day after the dance we were told to produce a fifteen-minute song to be performed during the closings, which is a week after the opening. What the F***. And they still requested us to do a medley of different folk songs from different states in Borneo, i.e. Sarawak, Sabah, Brunei, and Kalimantan. They thought to produce a four part SATB choir performance with lively movements in a week is EASY? They thought we were all perfect pitchers? Screw them. This was when all of us were so sick (mentally) and stressed. We could only progress slow as practice time was very limited (school days). Which was about two hours per day. 5 SONGS. 15 MINUTES. As for me I got completely f**ked up as I needed to hunt for suitable songs, arrange parts and teach those members. I didn't do much of my homework that week, but only doing choir stuff. After every practice I would be worn out and I could only sleep. We did six songs, which were Rasa Sayang, Puteri Santubong, Chabuk-chabuk, Ampar-ampar Pisang, Cik-cik Periuk and Anak Kampung. And I lost my voice two days before that day. I thought I overused it. It got me a little anxious as I really sounded like my vocal cords were ripped off by wolves (Pitch Perfect line. :P) . Luckily I was the conductor, so yeah, I conducted and croaked. As for the rehearsal, we screwed it totally. The guitarist lost his way halfway through, and the members forgot the sequence of the songs. Obviously we didn't have enough practice cause we only managed to finish learning all songs one day before the rehearsal. Everyone was in a bad mood. So the next morning before the actual performance, we had a 5-hour session to brush up everything. Luckily it ran smoothly. That night I was pretty worried deep inside because the rehearsal really shocked me out of my wits, but just acted cool. Conductor bah.. We managed to nail it (not so..) and the audience got hyped up. Credits to the sporting athletes! They said the performance was superb, awesome, etc etc etc. I couldn't care less. I sacrificed a week for it. Too eff-ed up already. But at least they enjoyed it. I watched the video, and it was not as superb as described, oh wells.. As long as it was over and they enjoyed it. :P
4. After that I thought I could enjoy my time. But NO. After a week of honeymoon I got another call from my teacher-in-charge. Initially he told us we were invited to eat to celebrate. but few days later he said we will be performing, not eating, but the songs were those we sang on the closings. (F**ked up 50%) And I thought we didn't have to practice much. But three days before the actual day I was told that we are going to sing another three new songs, with parts. (F**ked up 100%) The teacher in charge thought we were geniuses. Indeed. That really sucked. We had no way to oppose anyways. So an arduous journey started again. Everything went well, except our f**ked up feelings were still there.
5. And the student's council launched the Peer Assisted Study Program (PASS), and I was the organising chairman. So yeah, another torture, but less.
6. The last major event is the PSPM! Our first semester exam. I screwed my Mathematics paper. Depressing. I don't think I can score an A for it. Bye 4.0. *waves goodbye* *sniff sniff* Oh wells, let the bygones be bygones.
Wow. This is a long essay. Haha. All I want to do now is enjoy the serenity at home for three weeks, before another series of torture begin.
HOME. <3
It has been a long time i didn't update this thing over here. So this shows how busy I was before the holidays. Way too busy.
Let me list what I did in those few months, in chronological order.
1. My choir performed for the National Day's Celebration in Labuan town. Two new songs, Jalur Gemilang and Keranamu Malaysia in a week's time.
2. We were expecting Perbadanan Labuan to invite us sing during the opening ceremony of Borneo Games, but we didn't manage to secure a slot for us. Instead, we choir members were told to dance. :3 It was the opening ceremony so they needed around 150 people to do the Contemporary Sports Dance. 3 teams of three colours, red, blue and yellow. Choir members were in the red team. The dance was all about incorporating sports movement into the dance. Our focus is on "silat" and "taekwondo". Pretty well done for us. We were not any kind of dancers, so in a weeks time, practising everyday, we were able to produce a tidy and clean dance, not easy, isn't it?
3. Then, on that very day after the dance we were told to produce a fifteen-minute song to be performed during the closings, which is a week after the opening. What the F***. And they still requested us to do a medley of different folk songs from different states in Borneo, i.e. Sarawak, Sabah, Brunei, and Kalimantan. They thought to produce a four part SATB choir performance with lively movements in a week is EASY? They thought we were all perfect pitchers? Screw them. This was when all of us were so sick (mentally) and stressed. We could only progress slow as practice time was very limited (school days). Which was about two hours per day. 5 SONGS. 15 MINUTES. As for me I got completely f**ked up as I needed to hunt for suitable songs, arrange parts and teach those members. I didn't do much of my homework that week, but only doing choir stuff. After every practice I would be worn out and I could only sleep. We did six songs, which were Rasa Sayang, Puteri Santubong, Chabuk-chabuk, Ampar-ampar Pisang, Cik-cik Periuk and Anak Kampung. And I lost my voice two days before that day. I thought I overused it. It got me a little anxious as I really sounded like my vocal cords were ripped off by wolves (Pitch Perfect line. :P) . Luckily I was the conductor, so yeah, I conducted and croaked. As for the rehearsal, we screwed it totally. The guitarist lost his way halfway through, and the members forgot the sequence of the songs. Obviously we didn't have enough practice cause we only managed to finish learning all songs one day before the rehearsal. Everyone was in a bad mood. So the next morning before the actual performance, we had a 5-hour session to brush up everything. Luckily it ran smoothly. That night I was pretty worried deep inside because the rehearsal really shocked me out of my wits, but just acted cool. Conductor bah.. We managed to nail it (not so..) and the audience got hyped up. Credits to the sporting athletes! They said the performance was superb, awesome, etc etc etc. I couldn't care less. I sacrificed a week for it. Too eff-ed up already. But at least they enjoyed it. I watched the video, and it was not as superb as described, oh wells.. As long as it was over and they enjoyed it. :P
4. After that I thought I could enjoy my time. But NO. After a week of honeymoon I got another call from my teacher-in-charge. Initially he told us we were invited to eat to celebrate. but few days later he said we will be performing, not eating, but the songs were those we sang on the closings. (F**ked up 50%) And I thought we didn't have to practice much. But three days before the actual day I was told that we are going to sing another three new songs, with parts. (F**ked up 100%) The teacher in charge thought we were geniuses. Indeed. That really sucked. We had no way to oppose anyways. So an arduous journey started again. Everything went well, except our f**ked up feelings were still there.
5. And the student's council launched the Peer Assisted Study Program (PASS), and I was the organising chairman. So yeah, another torture, but less.
6. The last major event is the PSPM! Our first semester exam. I screwed my Mathematics paper. Depressing. I don't think I can score an A for it. Bye 4.0. *waves goodbye* *sniff sniff* Oh wells, let the bygones be bygones.
Wow. This is a long essay. Haha. All I want to do now is enjoy the serenity at home for three weeks, before another series of torture begin.
HOME. <3
Tuesday 20 August 2013
College #7 @ Leadership Training Camp, Sg Petani, Kedah
Along with other 18 students' representatives, we were given a chance to go to Cinta Sayang Golf Resort, Sg Petani, Kedah to attend a 4-day-3-night camp. Two hours of flight to LCCT, Kuala Lumpur then 9 hours of journey by bus to the resort.
Indeed memorable. New friends, new ideas of the Jawatankuasa Perwakilan Pelajar (JPP) (Students' Representative Organisation), and new programmes to be done.
A shoutout to my roommates (Room 483) from KM Teknikal Johor, KM Kuala Nerang, and KM Pahang, and the Chinese representatives all over the country, and representatives from KM Selangor. You guys are awesome! :D Thanks KM Selangor for the accommodation. Your college is new and conducive. *jealous* haha
Indeed memorable. New friends, new ideas of the Jawatankuasa Perwakilan Pelajar (JPP) (Students' Representative Organisation), and new programmes to be done.
A shoutout to my roommates (Room 483) from KM Teknikal Johor, KM Kuala Nerang, and KM Pahang, and the Chinese representatives all over the country, and representatives from KM Selangor. You guys are awesome! :D Thanks KM Selangor for the accommodation. Your college is new and conducive. *jealous* haha
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